From Self-Doubt to Belonging: My Journey Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

Imposter Syndrome is something that I have heard weekly for about the past 3 years. The first time I heard this term, I did a lot of research on it. I always thought my feelings of inadequacy came from my anxiety or depression, but in my research, I found: 

1. It was first talked about in 1978 who had observed professional women

  
2. It is common for many people (with and without mental health diagnoses) to experience imposter syndrome.  

3. Some of the more “positive” characteristics people see, like organization skills, but what people don’t see is the “why” behind these characteristics.  

4. It can be a vicious cycle and difficult to break.  

I struggle with setting long-term goals, which is part of the reason I struggle with imposter syndrome. I never had a goal to move up into leadership, despite asking in interviews what the pathway looked like. I never thought I was capable of it or that it was the right place for me. I’m not assertive, I’m not confident, and I didn’t think I was intelligent enough. I thought leadership was for people with a Master’s Degree at least, not people like me.  The anxiety surrounding my first introduction into leadership did not set me up for success when I moved into the Chief of Staff role.  

                                                                                                                      My first leadership position was as a supervisor for our peer support division. I had great mentors, I educated myself and became a better provider for it, and I bought into the recovery culture I desperately needed for my mental health (who knew there was recovery options outside of just taking medication, right?!). Once I got the hang of it, I got very comfortable. I knew what my day would look like, I knew my responsibilities and my expectations. I knew my team and my place in the team.  

When I was promoted to my role as Chief of Staff, I felt like I didn’t deserve it. I have an Associate’s degree, and little business knowledge, and I have the entire company as my team, not just a group of 10 people. I had a list a mile long of reasons why I didn’t deserve this position or why I would fail at it. So, I went back to square one. I started educating myself about this type of role.

• I identified the strengths I have to make myself successful in this position.
• I used my creativity to make things I struggle with, more engaging.
• I used my people skills to learn about our team members and help them reach their goals, both in and out of work.  

I'm a work in progress, but, aren't we all?  Keep pushing forward and keep learning as you go!  Most of all NEVER stop having fun!